Just When You Think You're Done...

We are anticipating the birth of our tenth grandchild on June 16 - if little polliwog waits that long?  Mom is so so so ready to hatch.  She is a petite gal and housing a baby, swimming pool and life support system inside her tiny frame has taken up all the space she has to give.  It is difficult for her to sit down.  And even harder to get up.  There is no comfortable sleeping position and bending over is nearly impossible. 


 

I remember thinking that being in rush hour traffic was the most difficult test for practicing the presence of now.... but after watching tiny daughter-in-law hold this ever-growing child, I'm thinking the last two weeks of pregnancy might top the rush hour test.






We have three grand children who live in Wyoming, three who live seven miles from our home and three and 9/10 who live five miles from us.  We have been told that after 9/10th there will be no more polliwogs.  (Well if we can't have an even dozen, then I will be happy with ten).  I consoled myself with the thought that ten is a nice even number to end on.  The only thing a bit off was that there would be six girls and four boys... the ideal even would, of course, be five boys and five girls.... but I'm thinking God knows what she is doing so I will keep my hands out of that (like I could do something about it anyway). Ha!  You have no idea how we obessive, compulsive types can try to put "anything" in a balanced order? 

No balance here

I think thats why I've been given ten grandchildren.  They temper my imbalance and allow me to see the beauty in the imperfect perfection of life. 

I couldn't see that when raising my own children.  I was too busy managing our lives.  Now I am experiencing the enchantment of observation... the wonder of imagination... the pleasure of this moment... the surprise of not knowing.  As I watch my adult children's children walk through life I realize there is little perfect order in much of what they do. 

 
They are spontaneous.  They respond to the wind as it blows.  I watch their parents providing order and stability and I am grateful for their committment to growing healthy, loving families.  But as for the children... they are committed to living  - to being happy - to running like an unbridled stallion on the planes - to smelling dirt (and sometimes eating it), and jumping high and being crazy in love with their cousins, their friends, their pets and their world.

I don't suppose their parents see it the same way.  But that is why I am here.  My mother encouraged me to look beyond my everyday responsibilites of parenting and see the joy underneath all that I was trying to balance.  She was successful some times and I am so thankful she was there opening up a window I could not budge.  Most of the time in my parenting I was too caught up in my job to see what my mother, the grandmother, was seeing.  But now I hear her words running through my head like she was right beside me.  And she is.  Thanks Mom!


While I thought we were stopping at number ten, God thought we needed to go further.  Second daughter and hubby have told us they have begun the process to adopt a little girl from China.  Because of the strict guidelines of the Chinese government, the adoption can be expedited if the adoptive family is willing to take a special needs child.  My daughter tells me that could be anything from freckles to a full limiting disability. 

They know of a couple who chose to adopt special needs and now have two lovely girls with cleft pallets, almond eyes, shinny black hair and very big smiles.  Our daugther and son-in-law continue to seek discernment as they move forward.  Whatever they decide will be perfect because I know they are motivated by love.

So there ya go... Yaya gets to be Yaya once again.  And no, it will not be to a boy to help even out the odds, but it will be to another glorious creation of the Divine.  How can one hold so much grace?  I feel like my pregnant daughter-in-law - ready to burst - not sure if I can wait for this new life to unfold.  Knowing that I can't manage this or put it in proper order is okay.  I have another job to do.  I will wait and watch and sing songs of thanksgiving for the life that keeps gifting me daily.



I hope this day gives you an opportunity to see beneath what you are managing.  I hope you have a wise elder to take you there.  But if you don't, I hope you will allow a child to lead you.