I am trying to allow the deep breaths I am now taking to change my reaction into acceptance…….
BUT I am so frustrated because I cannot get into my blog site to create a new post. I keep getting a message that the site is presently unavailable while the server is being worked on. Seems there are a few sites that have a glitch going on. Of course, mine is one of those. DARN IT!
Oh, oh I hear that familiar voice again... and her volume is increasing…. It always begins the same way. She sounds like a chant - a chant that is hardly audible - just a slight (almost unsettling) noise in the back of my head. Slowly, steadily it becomes more pronounced until there is no denying it’s message.
Yep, she's chanting all right. I hear her loud and clear. She's voicing the same question I asked my grand children when they were disappointed about not getting to sit in a particular seat in my car. It really irritates me when that happens. You know… when something you said to someone else to help them dig deeper and think broader boomerangs its way back to you?
Yikes there she is again – that persistent chant. I guess she's not going to shut-up until I stop sulking and pay attention to her question.
“What do you do when you don’t get what you want?”
Well, in complete honesty of this moment…. I brood, pout and stomp my foot. Not the answer my eight-year old grand daughter gave me the day I asked this question in my car. Her answer echoed softly from the back seat of my car just like the persistent echo of the answer I am hearing now. Each time the annoying questions sounds in me so does her answer. “Be grateful for what you have.”
Yea, yea, yea, I hear you. “Be grateful for what I have.” …….. Don’t rush me, I’m thinking!
……. Hmm
……. More hum-hawing
…….. ……. ……
Okay, I think I’m ready.
I am grateful that I got to be home this morning and had enough time to devote to learning about a new download that was recently installed on my computer.
I am grateful that I could stay in my comfy lounging clothes, with my feet in slippers and my hand around a yummy cup of hazelnut coffee.
I am grateful he-man hubby did not have to go out to work and could sit by me.
I am grateful my daughter-in-law did not have the baby two nights ago when he-man-hubby and I went over to her house to check out the contractions she was reporting to my son who was on shift at the fire station. Daughter-in-law is not due for five more weeks, and she was definitely having contractions when we got to her house. She took a shower, settled down in a chair and then lay on her bed to rest. The contractions stopped. We all breathed a sigh of relief.
Yaya got busy with the night time routine. I put the eleventh-month old tornado to bed and read stories with the older two children until about 9:00 pm.
Daughter-in-law was up from her rest then and promised she was going straight back to bed and that she would place her phone on her bed-side table. He-man hubby and I reluctantly waved good-bye as she locked the door behind us. I felt anxious and curious about what might be going on. When I got home I did the usual nightly ritual of cleansing, brushing and fluffing of pillows.
Before I lay my head on them though, I grabbed my phone and placed it close to my ear on the nightstand. As I drifted off, I was still sending good thoughts to the house on Nashville and the five people sleeping inside…. especially the little one tucked tightly in her mommy space.
I talked with daughter-in-law the next morning and all was well. Her plan of action was not to have one.
Not to be too active that is. She was going to slow down and do only what is necessary to get through the day and not take on anything else.
But a sleep over of eight tumbling, jumping, dancing, cheering girls already planned and prepared for doesn't sound slow to me.
Sunshine had a slumber party last night. My son, the fireman, he-man-hubby and Bubba (grandson number 8) went to a movie. Chickens! I went to daughter-in-law's to help heard the crowd of giggly girls. Sounds like I am being the Good Samaritan. But the truth is I simply can’t stand to miss a good party.
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